Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Vulvodynia SUCKS and not in the good way

This blog entry is not for the weak at heart.
It's about my frustration with an illness that currently prevents me from having sex

I have a condition called vulvodynia-- my particular form of vulvodynia is called vestibulodynia. Basically it means that if you touch the areas with in my vulva, it burns, like hell.

It sucks, because I want to have sex. I want to enjoy sex. But I can't. I never have.
The first treatment was yeast pills, to check if there was an underlying yeast problem.
Then I'd just need some pills and I'd be cured...
Nope, no such luck.

The next treatment scares the living daylights out of me-- Dilators.

Dilators are basically surgical dildos.
You used a small one until you can associate the pain with comfort. SO my medicine: Masturbate with varying size dildos for a few months every night.

For most people that would be amazing. For me it sounds like hell. The first dilator is slightly larger than a finger, but even a finger inserted inside me makes it difficult to sit for a day or two (and not in a good way)

So I'm a little scared and sad.
And felt like posting to release.
Because once I release, then I can take the next action, whatever that may be.

Thanks and Spanks


Michael said...

Michelle, sorry to hear about your medical condition, and I hope your post serves its purpose of release and enables you to move ahead on the road to recovery. Good luck and keep us updated. I'll hold a good thought for you. :)


River said...

Have you considered natural therapy? If you do a google search on 'natural therapy vulvodynia', a lot comes up. There are also support websites.
www.nva.org and www.vulvarpainfoundation.org
I'm sorry for your suffering!


Michelle said...

Thanks for your kind thoughts guys, I will look up natural therapy River, I've already started with the Arnica Montana.

Pest said...

Michelle, the first time you mentioned your medical condition I did look it up since I had no clue what the hell it was and I was curious. I was sorry to hear what you are going through and I know it has to suck for you. I am sorry you are going through this and maybe if you really want to have sex the other thing with the dildos will be painful but it might work. It is up to you and I do hope this post has done its purpose as a release for your frustrations. Good luck and I hope you keep up posted.

storynattie said...

*hugs* I've been there, well, pretty much still am. I don't remember what it is I have, but (sorry, is this TMI?) it hurts like hell on entry. The whole in and out? OUCH!

If I can get aroused enough, and if he (or my trusty little bunny) stays in deep, then it reaches a point where it feels really good, and it stops hurting.

I've been meaning to do the whole every night thing to see if it will help. I actually like my bunny because it has beads that go in circles within the shaft, and it kinda massages me inside and gets me to relax. Because, I'm sure you know, the pain makes me tense up, which causes more pain ...

It's a bit of a chore, though, you know? It hurts! It feels good to get to the good part, but it's a whole lot of pain to get there, for me. I have to try the every day thing, maybe it'll get better.

(I hope I didn't go on too long, and I just discovered your blog so I'm like a stranger. There's just not many of us who have this problem, I think, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to commiserate!)

Michelle said...

You in no way went on too long, it is SO good to have someone with similar symptoms to chat with!

Thank all of you guys for your support!

chris/paq said...

oh my dear!! i didn't know that it was "that" type of permanent issue. I thought it was just something mor short term. I'm sooo sorry, dear. I wish i could help, not being able to enjoy sex takes away one of the base pleasures of life...

omg, i'm so sorry, but i know you'll pull through