Monday, May 26, 2008

Is it cheating?

Just curious on your thoughts:

Is it cheating to be spanked by someone other than your partner, if your partner won't spank you?

I have my own opinions on the subject and am curious what you think


Anonymous said...

Michelle, this is an age-old conundrum that's been addressed from all angles in many of these blogs and message boards. There are so many variables but there are strong sentiments that favor regarding extracurricular spanking play--assuming without any sexual follow through--as cheating. For myself...I wasn't satisfied at home so I sought and hooked up with numerous spanking partners through the years. Most encounters and relationships were quite fulfilling, but that's now part of my past. If it was cheating--I did it anyway. It was mostly during the 90s so I considered it "Clintonian" and not a sex act.
But we both know that spanking is very much a highly specialized sex act--for most of us, anyway!

River said...

For me, it would be. I view 'cheating' on a spouse as any activity that prompts two people toward unnecessary closeness, whether emotional or physical. My husband and I have vowed to eachother not to have extremely close relationships with members of the opposite sex. He would never spend more time with another woman than with me, even if that time was in friendship. So the problem that I see, is that if you were to have a spanking relationship with someone else, while still being with your man, how close would the relationship have to be in order for you to trust the new spanker? I could never allow a man to lay his hands on me if I did not know him intimately. I am a weiner that way! I think if you have a strictly disciplinary relationship with another man, and your S/O knows about it, it's not cheating. But if you have to hide it, it's out of guilt and that means you think you're doing something wrong. Sorry for the rambling response, I am out of it tonight. Above all, trust yourself to know what's right.


Michelle said...

River you took the words right out of my mouth!

My view exactly is if you have to hide it, it's cheating...
Unless your partner knows about it and agrees to it, it's cheating.

Philip Kemp said...

"Unless your partner knows about it and agrees to it, it's cheating."

I agree, it's cheating. But if your partner knows you yearn to be spanked, refuses to spank you, and won't agree to letting someone else spank you - are you then justified in secretly finding someone else to meet your needs?

That, I reckon, isn't so easy to answer.

Pest said...

Michelle, it is cheating if you have to hide it like many of the others have said. If your partner knows about the other spankers and he is fine with it then it isn't cheating.

For instance, my boyfriend and I have an open relationship since we do live in two different states. We are both allowed to have spanking partners as well as one sexual partner as long as protection is used. A lot of people would look down at that since it isn't their "cup of tea" which is fine but it works for us.

Have a spanking good time! *G*

Fireman Chris said...

It's definitely a difficult question. I'd agree that if it's done in secret, it probably does qualify as cheating just like having a sexual relationship in secret would be.

If the partner is open to you playing with others, however, even if there isn't a specific discussion each time, that's a different matter. I know several couples who have "don't ask, don't tell" policies.

As for the question Phillip raised of whether it's justifiable when the partner refuses to satisfy the need or allow you to satisfy the need with others, that's one that's so personal it can't really be answered unless you're in that situation. I know people who are in that situation...some do feel justified in doing so, others do it but feel guilty about it, and still others won't do it at all. Not my place (or any other's) to judge. I would, however, feel awkward being the one playing with someone in that situation...have been there before and don't particularly like it.

chris/paq :) said...

i'm gonna go with yes, it's cheating IF your partner doesn't know about it. I know that it may be unfair for you to yearn for something and even think about going to someone else for it, but what if it is sex or oral sex or anal or whatever else. Is he/she justified in going to another person in secret for something the partner can't provide?

I agree that it's a hard question, but it's about the same as sex, intimacy, etc. If boht partners are ok and trusting about it, then sure, get your spank on, otherwise, it's cheating...

just my .002 (inflation devalued the penny)

Mrs. Smith said...

It depends on what your partner says. I mean, if you tell your man he can fuck other women and that you are truly absolutely okay with that.. and he does.. is that cheating?